Transactional Analysis Therapy – Drivers
Drivers are a way in which we have learnt to be as children in order for us to stay feeling OK. They can be a double-edged sword. Although often they can be useful, they also cost us and we pay in stress or anxiety when we are not able to fulfill the driver behaviour we are programmed with.
Please others
“Please Others” people like to keep everyone happy often at their own expense. They believe that one day someone will want to please them, but this rarely happens due to the company “Please Others” people choose to keep. Whilst “Please Others” people often have many friends and are great at looking after their family, they tend to not get their own needs met and can feel angry and resentful about this.
Be Perfect
They put an enormous amount of effort into the detail and will not settle until things are exactly right. This can mean that their work is to a high standard but they will have paid in anxiety and time to get it that way.
Hurry up
Hurry Ups” rush around and barely have a minute to relax. They often eat fast and talk fast, not giving themselves time to enjoy the things that they are doing. They may get a lot done (though this isn’t always the case) and they often feel tired out and unable to sit still and “smell the roses”.
Try hard
“Try Hards” have a go at things but often feel that they haven’t completed them or get bored and give up half way through. “Try Hards” get frustrated and tend to struggle with events and feel that they have failed.
Be strong
The “be strong” driver tells us that we are not ok to show emotions and we should tough it out and get on with it. Whilst “Be Strongs” are good in a crisis they often have problems connecting with their feelings and can feel numb when things are getting difficult at work or in their personal life. That lack of connection can result in physical illness or depression.